Is that a word?

Discussing some of the wedding drama: "I just got so infurinated!...Wait it infurinate a word?"

"I think you mean infuriated."

Infurinate in our office now refers to an angry pee. 

Multiplication Mess

"Umm I need some help. I worked 35.5 hours this week and my dad is paying me $10.00 and hour. How much should the check be for?"

Me: "$355.00"

"Wow, someone took calculus."

Ha! Golden Springs Elementary, Class of 1998.

Idiotic Invitation

I recently sent my RSVP for her wedding. She let me know just how intelligent I was:
"I'm so impressed you knew the M was for you to mark Mr. Mrs. or Miss. I didn't know what that was before all of this. For all of my friends weddings I just put Myself.

Diane Sawyer v. Barbara Walters

"Last night I put on facebook: Watching the Barbara Walters special on Jaycee Dugard. Someone posted that it was actually Diane Sawyer. I mean how am I supposed to know, they are both old and white."

Daddy's Girl

After her dad bought her a new MacBook:
"OMG isn't my dad amazing for having my new mac personalized with an apple because I'm going to be a teacher?"
Not. Making. This. Up.

La Cañada

Yesterday she argued that La Cañada was in fact La Canada.

Thurgood Marshall Mathers

My coworkers and I were discussing Thurgood Marshall and his impact on African American history. This was interrupted when she asked:
"Why do you keep calling Eminem that?" (shakes head)

Cringing at Chipotle

While ordering at Chipotle:
Employee: "Would you like Black or Pinto Beans?"
Her: "Well which one is which?"
Employee: "Umm.. well the black beans are the black ones."
Her: "Oh yeah I guess that makes sense."

Macarena Month Dance

Describing her new teaching technique: "I'm going to use the macarena to teach them the months: January, February, March and April, May, June, July and August, September, October, November, December... 10 months in the year!"

...Frightening.

Math Isn't My Best Subject

Using the paper cutter to cut index cards:
"What's half of four?"
Me: "Really?"
"Oh yeah, haha thank goodness I'm not going to be teaching Math."

Hey Mr. Postman

<----In response to this type of letter:

"How big of a stamp do I need? It doesn't say."

Geography Lesson

"How am I supposed to know what the continental U.S. is?" DSMBDS